Though there can be much revelation in pain….
And there can be much pain in revelation….
God can be present in both.
Finally, I have fallen in love again, for the first time. Feels like the last time. Still, this here time it’s different. To say, “He is all that I think about” would be slightly less than honest on my part. However, in accordance with His all-knowingness, I like to think that He’s aware of my soul’s burning desire to eventually be totally obsessed with Him and entirely possessed by Him. I’m in hot pursuit.
In retrospect, I’ve realized that it was the thing that scared me the most that helped me the most:
The possibility of “missing it” scares me… pains me more than anything else in the entire world. It is the chance that I may not really love Him like I say I do… Recognizing that I’m always at the altar (mainly of my heart) for the same reason… Never knowing if my apologies are heard, or they hit the floor… Knowing He does not condemn… but wondering if that only applies to those who are sincere in repentance. Wondering, “Am I sincere in repentance?” Remembering how someone once told me that to “repent” from something means to turn away from that thing. Successfully making unsuccessful attempts to turn away from dysfunction.
But now, I rest assured, enchanted by the certainty of this remarkable grace; This grace so absolute and persistent in its application. There is no part of me untouched by this grace; This grace ever efficient in its purpose…
To reunite me with my Father.
If any man (woman, boy, or girl) abides in Christ, he (or she) is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
~2 Corinthians 5:17
